It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
