Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Randomize
