haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
