i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
