i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
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