Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I wish I only lived at night.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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