Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
