This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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