Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
