awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
