Kiss
Puke
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
