stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
