i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
