Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
