for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
