So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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