hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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