oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
