i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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