her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
