when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
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