i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I touched a dick in church today
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
