Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Who did Billy Mays play for?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
So I just went to clothing optional bar
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
