There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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