3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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