I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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