I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
