You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
