remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
