Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
