I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
