if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
