So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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