i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
