Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
