All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
