In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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