The beer is more important than you right now.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
