im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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