His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
