Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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