The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
