They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
