Don't you send me to vm
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
where are my pants?
in the oven.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
