Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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