We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I don't want my vagina anymore.
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