Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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