And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
