the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
