So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
