All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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